Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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