I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
