You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
