I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
