hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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