no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
