Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
