This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
