mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
