He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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