i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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