I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
