My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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