I wish i was in the wii world.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
