i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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