I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
