I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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