How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
