Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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