Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
