You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
