Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
