There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
