I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
