I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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