Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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