hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
