nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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