Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
