dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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