clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
