good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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