So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
