your room smells of hookers.
And success
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
