Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
