I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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