if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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