Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
