Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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