Plan B is the new Plan A
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
