Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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