When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
