I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
