I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
