i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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