DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
