I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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