We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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