just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
