Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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