Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
