I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
