It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I FOUND THE LEGS
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
