? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
