I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
