I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
