All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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