Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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