I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I supernannyed him into submission
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
