it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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