Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
