i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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