im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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